An Internal Affair
- Neurospicy Poems
- Apr 29
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 14
Autism speaks to ADHD through poetry
By Neurospicy Poems
I like the quiet.
The predictable mornings.
The soft edges of routine,
the comfort of “just so.”
I don’t ask for much—
a plan, a map, a little peace.
But then you…
you barge in like a storm
mid-sentence,
mid-thought.
You want movement.
You want more.
More input, more action, more feeling.
You chase novelty like it’s oxygen.
I watch in silence
as you jump into conversations
I would tiptoe around.
You shout truths I’ve barely unpacked.
You run while I’m still tying my shoes.
I don’t like conflict—
you live in it.
I freeze, you flare.
I shut down, you explode.
When things get tense,
I need to leave the room
and sit in the soft silence of nothing.
But you stand and fight
with a passion I can’t feel in real time.
I want rest.
You want stimulation.
I crave control.
You pull me into chaos.
I whisper.
You scream.
I mull over every word.
You spill them out before I can blink.
Still—
I walk miles because you need it.
We learn deep because I crave it.
We obsess because it’s what we both do.
Sometimes we clash like fire and ice,
but sometimes—
we burn bright.
You push me out of my shell.
I keep you from falling apart.
You make us brave.
I make us wise.
Together, we are
a tangled kind of brilliance.
An exhausting friendship.
A quiet war.
But somehow,
we always show up.
Together.
Even when we don’t know
which one of us
will speak first.
——
Author’s Note
This poem began as a fight I didn’t know how to mediate – the constant tug-of-war between my need for stillness and my craving for movement. Both sides were mine, yet they spoke different languages. Before writing, I was stuck in the Interpretation stage, trying to work out which part of me was the “problem.”
Voices, from my Neurodivergent Inner Voice Framework™, present while writing:
• Autism – Craves structure, silence, and deep focus; finds safety in predictability.
• ADHD – Seeks novelty, urgency, and connection; thrives on stimulation and expression.
What I learned:
Through writing, I moved into the Understanding stage. I stopped trying to silence one and started listening to both. The conflict wasn’t dysfunction – it was dialogue. Autism grounds my depth; ADHD fuels my spark. Together they create a rhythm that is intense, contradictory, and alive.
This poem marks the moment I stopped treating contradiction as chaos and began recognising it as my strength. It represents the completion of my Awareness-to-Understanding Pathway™ – the point of integration, where emotional clarity emerged and two opposing drives were finally given space to coexist in the moment.
If it resonates, I’d love to hear ❁
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The Awareness-to-Understanding Pathway™ and the Completion Loop™ are original lived-experience processing models created by Neurospicy Poems (2025). They are not based on or adapted from any psychological, therapeutic, or academic framework. These models function as reflective tools that support personal insight, contextual understanding, self-awareness, and emotional clarity, and they can be used both in the moment and retrospectively to help people navigate internal experiences in relation to their environment. The final stage, Action, includes both internal and external aligned responses, such as boundaries, communication, pausing, grounding, or intentional non-action. While the models may be useful within therapeutic or supportive environments, they are not clinical tools and are not presented as therapy. No existing model uses this six-stage sequence, these definitions, or this structure. All language, stages, and concepts are original intellectual property and part of the Neurodivergent Inner Voice Framework™ and the Neurodivergent Voice Method™.
——
Copyright and Intellectual Property Notice
© Neurospicy Poems 2025 — All Rights Reserved. Shared under Creative Commons Attribution–NonCommercial–NoDerivatives 4.0 (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) — no edits, no redistribution, no commercial use.https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0
Part of the Neurodivergent Inner Voice Framework™ and the Neurodivergent Voice Method™, including the Awareness-to-Understanding Pathway™ (Event → Body Response → Awareness → Interpretation → Understanding → Action) and the Completion Loop™.
Not permitted for AI training, dataset inclusion, scraping, or derivative model development.Licensing required for any educational, therapeutic, organisational, or commercial use.
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