First Impressions Lie

Neurospicy Poems
May 7
2 min read

Neurodivergent masking in a neurotypical world

By Neurospicy Poems

Characters from left to right: Autism, ADHD and PDA.

When you meet me,

you’re not meeting me.

You’re meeting whichever mask

comes forward first,

To a lesser or fuller degree.

Sometimes, it’s Autism—

quiet, stiff, voice unsure.

Small talk is a battlefield

when we haven’t connected

on a special interest or task.

A catalogue of rules

I’m trying not to break.

Remember to ask questions—

Neurotypicals like that, right?

Say things that make sense,

and not the random facts spinning in my head.

I give too much eye contact,

and watch your reactions like subtitles,

trying to keep up,

while overanalysing:

Am I doing okay?

Do you like me?

I’m polite, cautious —

and when I tell you

I once ran nightclub events —

you blink.

This nervous, twitchy shell?

She couldn’t possibly have done all that.

Autism usually filters them out.

Other times, it’s ADHD—

bubbly, fast-talking,

a firework of thoughts and jokes.

But I must avoid interrupting, oversharing,

and flitting from one idea to the next

like a bee with a sugar addiction—

or you’ll think

I’m not focussed enough on you.

Maybe you meet PDA—

steady, certain, straight to the point.

No small talk, just what matters.

I find my topic, take the floor.

But don’t tell me I’m quiet—

you’ll ignite something fierce,

and I’ll shut down completely.

You think you know me.

But I’m not always the same version.

I subconsciously adapt

to the vibes in the room.

Even I don’t know

who it’s going to be.

I feel we’re connecting.

I let the mask fall, just a little.

I open up.

Then I seem different.

A bit odd.

You sense something is off…

And later—

nothing.

Ghosted.

_________________ Author’s Review

“First Impressions Lie” explores the hidden effort of masking as a neurodivergent person. It shows how different parts of me—Autism, ADHD, PDA, and others—step forward depending on the social situation, often without me realising.

Using my Neurodivergent Inner Voice Framework™, each character speaks with their own tone and coping style. This poem reflects the constant balancing act between fitting in, being understood, and the risk of being rejected when I finally show the real me.

Character Voices: