Wilder Days
- Neurospicy Poems
- May 5
- 1 min read
By Neurospicy Poems
I tried to remember
how many.
Couldn’t.
Tried to picture them.
Nothing solid.
Which feels
unexpected,
given how certain
they seemed
they’d be remembered.
Nothing stuck.
Nothing to keep.
—-
Author’s Note
This poem came from a conversation with my husband, where I tried to remember details from my wild younger days and realised I couldn’t. Yet there’s often a quiet social assumption that these moments would be stored and remembered; that men leave a lasting imprint.
Voices present:
• Autism – observing patterns and identifying the mismatch between expectation and reality
• ADHD – underlying the role of attention and dopamine, where what is not sustained does not consolidate into memory
• PDA – resisting the expectation that significance should be assigned, and rejecting imposed importance
• Inner Critic – is notably absent because there is no shame, no rewriting of the past, and no attempt to make the memory mean more than it does
There is also a layer of quiet humour; the absurdity sits in the contrast between certainty and reality – how someone can believe they’re unforgettable, and not remain at all.
What I learned:
This poem reflects my neurodivergent processing system; if something does not anchor beyond the moment – emotionally, cognitively, or through continued relevance – it does not remain accessible over time.
Understanding this shifted me from asking “why can’t I remember?” to recognising that nothing needed to be kept.
© Neurospicy Poems 2026 - All Rights Reserved -- ❁ Anyone else missing a few “files”?
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