Not a Victim
- Neurospicy Poems
- Sep 8
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 14
Facing Fear Head-On
By Neurospicy Poems
They call me a victim.
Stuck.
Helpless.
Rolling in self-pity.
But they project their discomfort onto me.
Because that’s not me at all.
I cringe at the labels—
victim,
survivor.
I am both hero and villain
in my own story.
Strong enough, brave enough
to descend into the underworld of my mind,
to wrestle shadows,
to laugh in the face of adversity.
I don’t avoid the truth.
I don’t bury pain.
That’s what weak ones do—
painting over cracks,
clutching locked feelings
as if silence could keep the monsters at bay.
I pry the seal from Pandora’s box,
step into the cave of wonder
buried deep in the desert of my mind,
and let the swarm fly—
screaming doubts, venomous fears,
shame with a thousand faces.
Darkness circles, claws,
but I do not run.
I ride the storm of curses
until it breaks.
And there—
in the ruin,
where others dare not look—
I find hope,
the ember no darkness could ever kill.
That is real.
That is depth.
To face the full spectrum of emotion,
to learn, to build,
to forge beauty from the horror show within.
Like finding a grain of sand,
they believe they’ve unearthed
the whole of me
buried in the dust.
But they can keep their assumptions.
I would never play the victim.
I rise from the ashes
like a fucking phoenix.
_________________
Author’s Note
This is a defiant rejection of the labels others try to place on me. People mistake depth and emotional honesty for weakness, assuming that sitting with pain makes me “stuck” or “a victim.” In reality, it takes enormous courage to face trauma head-on, to open the box others fear to touch, and to ride the storm until it breaks. Through myth and metaphor, my poem explores what it means to face horror directly and still find something unbreakable at the core.
Voices Speaking:
• The Navigator (me): The one walking the desert path, opening the box, stepping into the cave; the witness and carrier of all voices.
• Autism: Speaks through precision and depth; the underworld metaphors, the demand for truth, her refusal to settle for shallow appearances.
• PDA: Comes through in fiery resistance; refusing imposed labels (victim, survivor), pushing back with “I would never play the victim.”
• C-PTSD: Present in the darkness, the monsters, the curses, and the horror imagery; the shadow-work that must be faced.
• True Self: Grounds my poem in truth, clarity and hope. True Self is steady, enduring, and the flame that refuses to die.
_________________
Copyright and Intellectual Property Notice
© Neurospicy Poems 2025 — All Rights Reserved. Shared under Creative Commons Attribution–NonCommercial–NoDerivatives 4.0 (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) — no edits, no redistribution, no commercial use.https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0
Part of the Neurodivergent Inner Voice Framework™ and the Neurodivergent Voice Method™, including the Awareness-to-Understanding Pathway™ (Event → Body Response → Awareness → Interpretation → Understanding → Action) and the Completion Loop™.
Not permitted for AI training, dataset inclusion, scraping, or derivative model development.Licensing required for any educational, therapeutic, organisational, or commercial use.
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